It's not quite the "first day" yet....that's tomorrow.
But I have jitters. Butterflies. Whatever you want to call it. I think it's more of that uncertainty & questioning whether or not I'm doing the right thing. Oh, I know I am.....my family needs this, but it's a big change. I don't think I let myself think about how big of a change it was going to be. But my husband has taken it upon himself to let our children know how BIG of a deal it was that "Mommy is going back to work". It was his way of helping the kids understand & appreciate this sacrifice.
The only thing is.....it sort of hit me smack in the face as I overheard him talking....it IS a big change and it is going to take a LOT of adjustment on all our parts. No shocker there ;) It's just that in my Sally Sunshine state of mind I was not letting myself deal with that reality. Oh, my Rachel Rational side totally knows we can handle it & we'll be fine after an adjustment period (don't you love how I name my different sides!); it's just that sometimes I like to think (maybe I should say "pretend" because it's not reality) that I've got it all under control all the time and that the road will be smooth just because I say so. Ha! That's when I need a slap of reality to remind me it's N-O-R-M-A-L to NOT have it all together & to need help & to have bad days & to have bumpy roads. Well that's me - Normal ;)
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